


Lost and Found

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Adult Content, Angst, Drama, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-12
Updated: 2006-03-12
Packaged: 2019-02-02 13:16:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12727293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: It seems Daniel has lost everything, but is it that simple?





	Lost and Found

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

  
Author's notes: Just a little sadness, a little comfort and a realisation. Oh, and perhaps a tissue handy?  
  
Thanks to my Beta, Gateroller!  


* * *

Daniel was so tired as the elevator finally stopped at his floor it was all he could do to put one foot in front of the other. He was now regretting his acquiescence to Jack's plan to crash at his house for their three day downtime.

It had been a really disastrous mission and it was only by sheer luck that none of SG1 had received more than minor physical injuries. Pity the same couldn't be said for psychological hurt. They'd all been put through the wringer on this one; a real emotional roller coaster.

Teal'c was going to visit his family and Carter was going to spend her downtime with Janet and Cassie. Jack had persuaded Daniel it wasn't good to be alone, for either of them. Daniel didn't have the heart to leave Jack alone recognising his not-so-subtle request for company. Jack, of course, would have said that he was the one doing Daniel a favour. Neither one would freely admit they needed the company of the other man.

Jack watched Daniel as he squared his shoulders and slowly made his way down the hallway to his apartment. It was obvious he was exhausted and Jack knew Daniel well enough to know he would try and cry off his plan to spend the long weekend at his house. Jack would have preferred to drive straight to his house but Daniel wouldn't hear of it saying there were some things he needed to collect if he was to spend three days and nights at Jack's. Knowing Daniel it wouldn't be the usual things someone would collect when staying with a friend for a few days; he would be quite happy to borrow stuff like sweats to sleep in and a toothbrush and other toiletries from Jack. No, what Daniel would consider necessary would be books; there was no way he could spend time at Jack's without his reference materials, journals and probably some translation work for the SGC. Jack knew Daniel's briefcase presently locked in his truck already contained a couple of pieces or work smuggled out of the mountain against the strict instructions of Dr Janet Fraiser, but that wouldn't stop him wanting more. The work he had in his apartment would be neither urgent nor recognisably alien, it could be something innocuous but for Daniel no less fascinating.

Jack was thinking how to distract Daniel enough that he would just pick up whatever he wanted and head out with Jack. It would be best and probably easiest in his present state of mind to simply piss him off enough to make him irritable and jumpy, but not too angry. A jumpy Daniel was a man who couldn't still and it would be just what Jack needed to keep him moving towards his front door and out. 

Jack's reverie was interrupted as he almost walked into the back of Daniel who had stopped at his front door, his key hovering inches from the lock.

"God Daniel, what'cha doing?" Jack said irritably before he noticed the expression on Daniel's face.

"Jack?" Daniel breathed, his wide-eyed stare locked on his door, on his lock to be precise.

Jack followed his gaze and saw the odd markings around the lock and the scratches on the door and frame. "It can't be," Jack said disbelievingly. "Your apartment is fitted with the most up-to-date alarm system imaginable."

"Yeah, and my locks are state of the art too," Daniel replied sarcastically carefully pushing his door open. His heart was beating so fast he had difficulty getting his breath.

Jack kept close to Daniel not knowing what to expect either in the apartment or from Daniel. The young man had so much of his life invested in this small apartment that Jack dreaded what he would do if there was much missing, or God forbid damaged.

The door opened slowly as if the moment of truth could somehow be delayed but all too soon Daniel was confronted with the invasion of his privacy, the destruction of his belief in his own small corner of this troubled world. 

Books littered the floor, pictures were overturned the glass shattered or cracked, artefacts lay haphazardly amongst the books, some whole others damaged or destroyed. Conspicuous gaps were obvious on the shelves or the walls where larger items like his swords were missing. His desk was missing one computer and other electrical items were gone.

Daniel stood quiet and still on the steps of his living room as Jack hurried to the other rooms in the apartment. When he returned Daniel hadn't moved.

Jack spoke quietly, "Not much change in the bathroom or the kitchen, but the bedroom's like this I'm afraid." He looked around the large rambling living area trying to work out just how much was missing. The audio and visual equipment obviously; Daniel had only recently got state of the art staff after Jack asked pointedly during one long weekend spent at Daniel's for a film marathon if Daniel ever actually spent any of his generous salary as Daniel's equipment still seemed to use transistors. Daniel had taken the huff and promptly purchased a new TV, DVD and video and the latest sound system. It was all gone now, as was his computer system.

Jack was not too worried about whether that held any top secret stuff. Carter had fitted it with a fancy encryption system and a supposedly unbreakable password entry; and to top it all if you tried to get into the system by any method other than the approved SGC system the hard drive committed suicide.

Jack turned and realised Daniel still hadn't moved and Jack was worried about how Daniel would cope with this. His whole world, his life was encapsulated in this room.

Daniel didn't think he'd ever be able to move. If he moved he would somehow give credence to the scene before him. If he could stand still, stop the next second from happening it wouldn't be real. His books wouldn't be scattered like so many dry leaves around the room, some torn and split with twisted spines and pages fluttering by the inexorable passage of time. The long treasured photograph of his parents wouldn't be ripped in two. The only photograph of his wife taken by Lou Ferretti so long ago on a sultry evening on Abydos wouldn't be lying amongst broken fragments of glass, intermingling with the torn scraps of his new family, SG1, scattered like confetti for a wedding he had never had.

His breath hitched at the pain in his chest when he saw the scattered fragments of pale brown pottery with an occasional smattering of rich blue tinged with gold. He had carefully looked after that precious piece of ancient pottery for almost thirty years. Not because it was thousands of years old but because his mother had allowed him to keep it when he had discovered it while digging with her in the warm sands of Egypt on his seventh birthday. It had been damaged, not even being complete but he hadn't cared. It had been the first thing he had found as part of an official dig. His father had allowed him to really help in a dig for the first time as a birthday present, not to just play at helping as he had always done before that. Then his father had helped him clean it and showed him how to piece it together and stick it carefully so it was presentable. Besides his wedding bowl that had been his most treasured possession.

_His wedding bowl? Oh no, dear god no! No, not that._

Suddenly he was moving, rushing to his bedroom.

"Daniel, Danny what is it?" Jack's voice followed him but he could not speak.

His heart was pounding so fast his chest felt as if someone had clutched at him and was squeezing. He was gasping for breath. _Why, dear god why did I bring it here? I've kept in on my desk at the SGC for years. Why did I do it?_

He rushed into his bedroom and made straight for his bedside table. It wasn't there. He looked, really looked for the first time at the bedroom. His clothes were strewn everywhere. All the drawers were pulled open and the contents were disturbed and stuff had been yanked out and dumped. His closet door was wide open, his clothes either shoved to one side or piled on the floor amongst his shoes and other clutter. The shelf above had been cleared and boxes, files and bags were strewn over the bed and floor. Again there were books and a few small artefacts that he'd used as ornamentation. 

But he still couldn't see what he was really looking for. Desperation was stealing his common sense and he couldn't think properly. He spun round and groaned in frustration.

"Is this it Danny?" a quiet voice asked.

He turned and his heart finally froze. Jack was gently holding some separate pieces of pottery, pieces of his wedding bowl, pieces of his broken heart. It had been all he had left of her that he could actually touch, helping to bring his memories to life. Now even that had been taken from him. Destroyed like everything else that had ever mattered to him. He felt himself shatter just as that old pottery had done. 

He wasn't aware as his legs gave way and that it was only Jack's excellent reflexes as he grabbed for Daniel as he was forced to drop the shattered pottery on the mess of Daniel's bed.

Jack managed to pull Daniel to him and wrapped his arms around him as Daniel sobbed uncontrollably and yet somehow very quietly as if he was afraid to disturb the world around him with his grief.

Jack felt his own breath hitch in his chest at the unadulterated pain coming in waves from the best friend. _Why, why the fuck does it always have to happen to Danny? Hasn't he been through enough?_ Jack rocked Daniel, rubbing gentle circles up and down his back, murmuring nonsense words of comfort and love to him as he held him as close as he could.

Jack felt guilty as he held the young man tightly in his embrace, his body reacting to the closeness of his heart's desire even at this most inappropriate moment. Daniel needed him, needed his support, needed his love it was true, but only the love of his friend, his best friend. Jack had worked over the past few months to regain the friendship that had gotten lost along the way over the last year or so. It had been become buried in the stress and emotional tangles of people working too closely together while they went on missions that taxed even their experience and inventive creativity to solve the most outrageous situations. All four of them had somehow lost their hard won cohesion but none so much as Jack and Daniel. Theirs had always been a volatile relationship though at its heart it had been solid; somehow that had become eroded. 

Jack admitted to himself that his own personal confusion had not helped and when he had finally taken his head out of his own ass long enough to recognise what he was doing he had accepted that his friendship with Daniel was too important to risk losing over his obviously unrequited emotions. He decided to get himself back under tight control and work to rebuild the precious friendship and get back the team that had saved the world.

He loved Daniel as much as ever but now it was a well controlled secret; at least most of the time. However, Daniel's present anguish was difficult to bear because he had no way to help him other than to be there for him. And that didn't seem enough. _Snap out of it you selfish bastard, it's Danny who's hurting._

Daniel came back to himself to hear Jack murmuring to him. At first his words didn't register, just the calming effect of that beloved voice. He was so glad he hadn't been alone when he'd discovered this ......this devastation of his life. Was he making too much of the destruction of the wedding bowl? Did he really need the touch of it to bring Shau're to mind? She was always with him after all. Not always in the forefront anymore but his love was just as real and he knew it always would be. He had needed for a while to move on and he knew that was what she would want for him; to be happy.

Jack's presence reminded him that at least he hadn't lost everything. His past may have been cruelly ripped from him but he still had his present, his friends, his life with those that cared for him. He still had his best friend. His Jack. He had to stop thinking like that it was too painful. Jack was his best friend, that had to be enough. He allowed his friend's voice to calm him. He was aware of Jack's hand soothing across his back and then he heard the words.

"It's all right Danny, everything'll be okay. Shush, shush, I'm here. You're not alone, you'll never be alone. You're all right, I won't leave you." Jack kept muttering the same phrases over and over as he gently rubbed his back.

Daniel heard the words and more he understood that Jack was there for him, would always be there for him. For a while he'd thought he'd lost that and he'd mourned the loss. Then he had come to understand it wasn't lost just mislaid, just a difficult patch they'd been going through and they would probably have such episodes again, but in the scheme of things it wouldn't really matter. Jack was his best friend and Daniel loved him for it. He needed Jack now and he didn't doubt at all that he would be there. 

Daniel allowed himself to listen to Jack's soothing voice and rested his head on his shoulder, his breathing back under control now his sobs had finally died. 

"You're all right, I won't leave you. Hush, love it's okay, I'm here. You're not alone. Shush Danny, that's it."

Daniel heart skipped a beat when he heard what Jack murmured to him, and then he smiled as he realised that Jack wasn't even aware of the endearment he'd used. Daniel kept the knowledge close to his heart knowing now was not the time to pursue it, but soon, soon he would.

But for now he could just be grateful that out of this terrible ordeal when he had lost so much of his past he may have found his future.

FIN


End file.
